it's a little hard to form complete sentences with the song i'm currently playing on the computer. but everyone seemed very tickled with my tshirt. it's the one i wear a lot - the one that says 'if you love something / set it free / if it doesn't come back / hunt it down / and kill it. of course, my version would include torture of some sort. unfortunately, most people seemed convinced that the shirt suits me very well. i'm starting to wonder if people see me as a serial (and very dangerous) killer with a psychotic streak. please note that i may be calculatedly violent and i do carry sharp things around me for safety reasons, but i am a perfectly balanced individual. with the emotional stability of 1/10, according to my 16pf results that are freakily accurate.
the second segment of the hwachong wushu performance involved the use of 'allegretto' by bond. as soon as the song came on, a thousand memories washed over me and i started shaking (because i'm one of those highly excitable people who tremble like leaves for no reason all the time). i suddenly felt about sixteen years old, remembering the way the eight of you had looked on the floor that afternoon, blue skirts and coloured shirts, twirling, swirling, a flash of movements. watching you execute those well-practiced movements, feeling each step as if my own feet were dancing along with yours. that last, final bow. how can i not remember? i was so proud of you i couldn't contain myself, and i burned that moment into my memory. some things are never forgotten.
lunch was fine. felt a bit trapped because of the awkward seating arrangement, but i tried not to let it bother me. being able to see outside the huge glass panes really helped. but i'm still not going to make social outings a permanent fixture on my calendar. a classmate was nice, but i guess i'm not very good at appreciating thoughtful gestures because i'm so determined to prove that i'm an independent woman. which i am, by the way, completely and utterly. i can take care of myself. i don't need you to open doors for me, but i won't let you slam them in my face either.
nanz is scared of the swans. i still haven't met anyone who isn't. sighhh. and what's so odd about me talking to the swans? i talk to dogs and cats and hamsters and erh yeah living creatures, including plants. they can pick up your tone even if they don't understand your words.. anyway i know everyone thinks i'm crazy because i love the back of the botanical gardens, but here are some points in its favour: 1. it's scenic. a definite plus, because there's nothing like seeing greens and blues and all the colours of the wind. 2. it's also generally quiet. people hardly go there except to jog (with their dogs, hurrahh!!) or picnic. you can hear yourself think. hell, you can hear yourself breathe. it's great for conversations that you don't want to be overheard. 3. it's not that hot. really. 4. fresh air! 5. the birds look pretty cool from afar, especially when they fly together across the sky. the fact that they are really quite ugly close up should not affect you enough to throw up. 6. how can anyone resist sitting on the grass and watching the birds fly low over the water, letting their wings skim across its surface??
i want a dog. to watch the sunset with. i can just imagine it, the two of us sitting side by side on a rock, silhouetted against the setting sun.. i call it 'Girl and Dog'. very creative, i know.
i keep playing this song because it reminds me of a time when we attended campfires and danced all night and i didn't care about crowds and noise and i screamed my lungs out side by side with you. i wanna be bad, by willa ford.