Monday, February 27, 2006
allegretto

i never thought i would get genuinely irritated with a child, but i did. now, i have nothing against slow children, although i like bright children who say witty things that make me laugh. and i tend to be rather fond of the quiet ones who sit there listening quietly with their huge eyes fixed on me. i don't mind the noisy ones either, as long as they make a reasonable amount of sense. but i get really, really irritated with talkative children who don't make sense. i mean, if you want to chatter to me, that's fine, but please chatter with a reasonable amout of intelligence. and do not, ever, try my patience with nonsensical blabbering. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. as scary as it sounds, i can almost empathize with murderers. and i suddenly remember why i scotch-taped a classmate to her chair and then scotch-taped the chair to the table in p6. she really irritated me. if i'm not wrong, i also taped her mouth shut, and her arms together. i wasn't a very good kid but at least i wasn't nonsensical. and if you think i'm being harsh on the kid, when i say nonsensical i mean nonsensical. you know those ah-lians who talk very loudly and ridiculously on the bus only to be sniggered at by everyone else? imagine that multiplied several times over, and add to that the relative immaturity of a primary school child. good lord i'm an intellectual snob. and an unwarranted one at that, seeing how my grades are anything but stellar. ugh. must be more patient with other people. do unto others..

do you ever get upset or even a little bit sad when people say you aren't the person they knew? it's quite a senseless reaction, really, when it shouldn't make a difference to me. you thought i was cynical and critical then; you think i'm cynical and critical now. the difference is in the degree and forms in which they take. maybe i haven't really lost my romanticism - it's just taken on a new form. i'm becoming horribly afraid that i'll fall in love with some silent, brooding, intense sort of fella, and end up marrying the safe and stable guy in the hopes of being balanced out. hopefully i'll have quiet, well-behaved and intelligent children with deep dark eyes that shine when they smile.

sounds like i'm buying a puppy, hmm.

i will always think of swirling sky-blue satin skirts on a dark blue floor, and black heels tapping lightly across it, heel-toe-slide-hop and a synchronised toss of black hair, when i hear 'allegretto'. i thought you all looked so beautiful together that day.
8:03 PM ; 0 comments