Wednesday, March 29, 2006
more than just an elaborate ruse

i'm back to the old schoolday routine. eatingreadingsleepingeatingplayingthepianochattingsleeping. really, really tired for no reason. and a little dazed. i keep having this vague feeling that i'm doing or saying things that i don't know about. like my automatic responses aren't being properly screened by my frazzled brain. i really hope it's pms. it's too depressing to think about the other possibilities.

it was our anniversary on monday. but we all forgot to note the occasion on the shared blog. and we didn't really meet up this year. okay fine so i made plans with someone else that night, but it wasn't the real night anyway, and half of you weren't there and i didn't really feel like seeing everyone (not you) and yes i'm just making up excuses for my inexplicable behaviour. by the way, i have no time to go down to the gghouse, so i'm just going to resign. *shrugs* i kinda forgot i was still registered.

aquarius doesn't make sense. it's beyond incoherence. but i like the strings bit. i always imagine the background instrumental coming from the left, and the vocals from the right. i think my brain doesn't function very well when it's damp. '... and your hunger and your lust for life and being free.. it's dragging me, it's killing me...' i never thought you could lust after life and being free, hmm. freedom is overrated anyway. there is no such thing as absolute freedom. anything 'absolute' probably deserves a big fat warning sign anyway. 'all about us' doesn't make sense either, for that matter. and it's probably ungrammatical. hooray i listen to such dumb songs for the bass and drums.

you don't always have to be so strong, you know. good girls don't cry, bad girls don't die.

reading the graphic novel version of v for vendetta. i prefer the movie. the pacing and the dialogue are better. and evey isn't such a goddamn wimp/air-headed bimbo/weak-willed and two dimensional character. okay you can tell i really despise evey-from-the-comic. like hello woman, get a grip on yourself! don't you ever question anything? being sixteen is no excuse. sixteen is plenty old enough to grow a brain. hmph. and i guess the mask has more impact in the show, because of its perpetual smile. the unnerving grin isn't as obviously unchanging in the comic. oh but it has a gritty side story. i kinda liked the lesbian side story in the movie, hmm. she was kinda cute when she was younger huh? with the straight blonde hair pinned up. hmm. i'm straight.

i write really long posts in the hope of discouraging everyone from reading them. i blog just to capture some of my thoughts, what i'm reading, what i'm listening to. i drown in ben and jerry's in between the waiting.

we've never been so many, and we've never been so alone.
9:23 PM ; 7 comments