Saturday, March 11, 2006
still waters

i can't believe it's taken me about 5 hours altogether to prepare for tomorrow's activity. i took about 4 hours to photocopy, cut, paste, trim and punch holes in 16 copies of a mobile-craft thing. and i started as early as tuesday in between classes. sometimes i think we take teachers (especially primary school teachers who have to do this kind of fun-for-the-kids-torturous-for-the-teacher crap on a regular basis) for granted. and i have yet to learn up the songs and think up a prayer. i shall do it before midnight.

whyyy do i do these things to myself?? i could have started on the songs and prayer earlier! i shall start soon. i resolve to start on monday for next week's lesson. and i will absolutely finish by friday, latest, from now on. it's too stressful to worry about it all saturday night while i sleep.

i wonder if there's a nice way of letting depressed people know that they're depressed without depressing them even more. i mean, showing them pamphlets with symptoms of depression plastered across their fronts only makes them feel even more suicidal when they realise that they are, after all, clinically depressed. i tell you, finding out that you're depressed (as in, realising, coming to the sad conclusion, having it drop on your head like a bombshell) when you're already depressed enough, is quite likely to push you over the edge. dangerous tactic, really. tricking them into seeing a counsellor isn't much better. they'll just be offended and hurt. leaving them alone is considered irresponsible too. sigh, what's a person to do? at least with people who pretend to be depressed (i don't see what's so cool about it, frankly), you can just give them a tight slap and be done with.

no fear, i will cultivate some sort of patience with stupidity, as a favour to those who have cultivated patience towards mine, before long. i believe it is (was?) one of my new year resolutions.

siti said my haircut is tomboyish. i'm a little bit upset. i left that tomboyishness behind in p5, and have been proudly feminine ever since. but it seems i've come full circle - i'm back to short hair and glasses. my mother asked me the other day why i'm trying so hard to look ugly. well, it's convenient and i don't want to try too hard to look good - what's the point? it's just so common and boring, it's such a cliche. besides, i have a new (and unproven) theory that if you uglify yourself every now and then, when you go back to looking normal, everyone will think you look great (in comparison). so i'll stun everyone by looking normal in uni about 2 years after i graduate looking frumpy. i love my little theories. still, as a precautionary measure, i'm going to put little clips in my hair when i go out. being mistaken for a little boy when i'm not dressed up isn't my cup of tea - and i don't drive on that side of the road.

in a sudden moment of uncertainty, i searched an online dictionary for 'still waters run deep', and got this: A quiet person may be very profound, as in Susie rarely says much, but still waters run deep. The physical observation in this term dates from ancient times, but it has been used figuratively since about 1400. Anthony Trollope amplified it in He Knew He Was Right (1869): "That's what I call still water. She runs deep enough. . . . So quiet, but so clever." well i couldn't resist searching further and discovered that Trollope used the still water analogy in at least three of his books - Can You Forgive Her?, Framley Parsonage, and The Mistletoe. i guess even published authors can't resist the constant use of a favourite phrase or analogy. by the way, my favourite is from Can You Forgive Her? -- still waters, they say, run deep; and sometimes i think your waters run too deep for me to fanthom. -- i always knew the inexplicable attraction of a quiet demeanour wasn't quite so inexplicable after all; who can resist the subtle charm of the silently beckoning engima? yes yes siti, black horse!

here come the holidays! i intend to eat every single edible thing in the house before the week is up.
11:11 PM ; 1 comments