Tuesday, April 04, 2006
left right left, we all fall down

i feel i have a confession to make. a terrible one. is this why catholics confess? because it feels good to get it off their chests, feels good to share the burden? i'm not really sure i should impose my burden on someone else. we all have our own loads to carry. how do you apologise for wrongs committed years ago, wrongs that you hope have been forgotten? i've been hiding in oblivion, but that's just escapism. because i am sorry now, even if i weren't, and it feels too late to make amends.

you have come to be associated with the various things in my room, the various sounds and smells of my life. i think of you when i'm sipping hot jasmine tea, when i open a fresh packet of ruffles, even when i pull on the light-blue silk shirt i never wear anymore. and nightworld. i thought it was romantic to be madly in love with your enemy. the angst of not being able to touch the one thing you can't live without. maybe if romeo and juliet hadn't been so young and ridiculously melodramatic, if they'd been stronger and wittier and had fought against their inevitable love more, we'd have sympathized more with them. as it is now, they're the epitome of pathetic behaviour and the laughingstock of all jaded youth. pity. i haven't taken a neo-print since early last year. never thought i'd outgrow them. thank goodness i have. they seem so self-conscious and vain and pointless now.

i think oboes sound like ducks.
8:48 PM ; 0 comments