Tuesday, August 08, 2006
bleaugh

and okay, just for the record, i haven't been malingering. i've been suffering from a flare that lasted more than a day longer than it should. so basically i've been spending 5 days curled up in pain and refusing to leave the house. and it's always kind of amusing how i lose a few kg when i'm sick and constantly throwing up, and then gain it all back rapidly when i get better. hopefully, tomorrow. at least i'm up at the computer now! that's a lot further than i've gone since friday. i'm refusing to take any more medication since i can't handle the side effects, and it restricts my food intake, and i cannot live without cheese and yoghurt and raisins and chocolate and soy sauce (wth, really) and sour cream and ahh you get it. in any case, i doubt i can make it for prelims at this rate - i can't catch up with the daily work, much less study for prelims. but hell who's life is it anyway? so i screw it up. so i die. big deal.

been listening to miss saigon. i've forgotten how cheesy love songs can be. rather nice, but the lyrics are cringe-worthy. some of them anyway. gah off to rumage for some food that i can actually eat.. maybe rice grains with salt and pepper? who knows.

wow i am not optimistic. at all. sorry if this disappoints people like siti (who for some reason think i'm coping fine with fibromyalgia.. except i'm not, i'm resentful about it when i can't deal with it) and jean (whom i hope never actually reads this because i've been telling her i'm okay, since she's leaving and i'd rather she be all chirpy about it) but this is life. i'll be strong when i can start walking properly again. until then, bravery is wasted on a body that one can't even control anymore.
9:47 AM ; 7 comments