Saturday, August 26, 2006
where forever melts into a line

and all you can do is stare at it, its infinite symmetry, its sullen mystery. and ah hahah. i rhyme.

must be the glasgow love theme. i love the bit where it rises and soars and dips like a bird, like the sun rising, its glow spreading across the sand. yeech. sun rises aren't my thing.

i ran to call you, but all i got was your voice mail. what a cliche. i sniffle, but only because i lick the wasabi powder off the peanuts before eating them. i think the tip of the tongue is extremely sensitive to the wonders of wasabi powder.

my mother claims she told me not to pierce my ears. i have vague memories of her saying something like that, but i didn't think she meant it. anyway she's only saying it because my sister'll complain that i get too much leeway otherwise. she didn't think i'd actually dare to do it. of course i dare. what is the prick of a needle, compared to what i face during flares? i didn't wait til after a's like i meant to, because.. it's something i needed to do. a little like cutting my hair, only permanent. as permanent as i want it to be. some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. i wear your memories on my ears, and a locket and ring around my neck. fortunately i only have fourteen friends. i counted.

met van after school yesterday. i think we are rather fatalistic people. what will be, will be. no love in sight, just beautiful apartments for her, and gardens with huge dogs for me. what will be, will be. people spread out across continents. thank God for the internet. (but still, you can't hold my hand when you're not there, can you?)

thought of that song, curve of the earth. 'i'm a sucker for a good lie, the way you say you understand, and how you talk of catching me but never open up your hand.' wonder if anyone has it. when i think of you, i remember the lies we told each other, the promises we couldn't keep. and i know that if i tried again, i'd do it all the same - and so i will never play that game again. at the end of the day, the only thing that's really yours, is your pride. which, thank goodness, i have plenty of. too much, she said. but what is it to you?

sandpiper sandpiper sandpiper joy.
11:35 AM ; 8 comments